100 Important Laws of the Dream World

1. If you become evil in a dream, your appearance always ends up resembling one of the people who are already villains--usually the person who made you change sides.
2. If the sky in a dream is frightening in some way, something really bad is about to happen.
3. In dreams, glass is like steel--you can pound on it, throw heavy objects--including large pieces of furniture--at it, and even shoot it, but no matter what you do, it WILL. NOT. EVER. BREAK.
4. If the lights go out, that means the villains are coming, so you had better run like hell while you can.
5. Don't bother trying to lock a door behind you--the lock will always either disappear, break, or fail to lock in the first place.
6. The only people besides you that can EVER be naked in a dream are the really ugly people and the really old people.
7. History can randomly fast-forward and rewind, as well as repeat itself on an endless loop at its own free will, as much as it wants, whenever it wants, with no advance warning whatsoever.
8. If history *does* get stuck on a repetitive loop, it will usually be THE worst possible part of history that gets stuck, and it will usually repeat several times before you wake up or move on.
9. It doesn't matter how people or characters are SUPPOSED to act--as soon as you enter a dream, the concept of being in-character goes flying out the window immediately and completely.
10. There is often no dimensional separation in dreams--characters, items, and locations from every work of fiction in existence are all allowed to intermingle as much as they want, both with each other, and with the real world.
11. The environment is subject to random, drastic change at any time, meaning that the scenery, time of day, weather, and season can change in an instant with absolutely no warning, leaving you in a much worse situation than you previously found yourself in only a few moments ago.
12. The above environment changes almost NEVER work to the dreamer's advantage--as a matter of fact, it's usually *quite* the opposite.
13. The absolute worst dreams always seem to take place in the dead of night.
14. If you ever find yourself in an empty or abandoned building, you're not alone--the bad guys are there, and they WILL find you.
15. If you get your soul stolen in a dream, you may or may not actually ACT soulless--and even if you do, there will still be the plot hole of the fact that you're actually somehow AWARE that your soul is missing.
16. Don't fear, though, because if someone wants your soul, you'll definitely know about it a couple of minutes in advance--they always have to back you up against a wall or similar fixture first, and then spend time getting in your face and saying something creepy before they can actually reach into you to retrieve said soul.  
17. Don't ever tick off a reflection or shadow, especially your own--in dreams, after all, reflections and shadows are people, too, and if you make them too angry, they'll probably come back and torture or kill you for it later on.
18. If you make a big scene of any kind in public, more often than not, you--as well as whatever damage you've done or spectacle you've made of yourself or someone else--will be completely and totally invisible to all or nearly all bystanders and passersby--unless of course being invisible would *greatly* work to your advantage. In that case, everyone will notice you, even those who normally wouldn't in real life.
19. Anyone, including you, can be randomly killed and/or resurrected at any time, for no logical reason whatsoever.
20. If you do die in a dream and don't wake up just as it starts to happen, it's always an extremely trippy experience--one that, more often than not, will involve at least one bout of insane and fairly-rapidly-changing scenery, seemingly drug-trip-inspired lighting, or random flashes of weird, nearly-undescribable colors.
21. If there is talk of a "chosen one", but their identity is a secret and you need to find out who they are, don't worry about looking too far--it will always be you.
22. You can severly injure and kill people, as well as cause great destruction, with items that normally would pose little or no threat, such as nail clippers, toothpicks, pieces of paper, etc. Watch out, though, because the enemy can always do the same, and can usually do it about ten times as well as you can.
23. You can also effortlessly pick up and wield weapons that are physically bigger than you are--unless it's a dire emergency. In that case, you won't have the strength to perform a simple task like picking up a candy wrapper off the street without exhausting yourself, and probably still failing.
24. When everything starts to move in slow-motion, that means something extremely dramatic or frightening is now happening, or about to happen.
25. The above is especially true when you're trying to escape from someone or something and make an attempt to run away, only to find your legs either moving in slow-motion, with great difficulty, or else completely paralyzed all together.
26. If a dream begins with you playing a video game, watching TV, or reading a book, chances are that the storyline of said thing will become real in some form or another before you wake up.
27. A large, empty public place is the most dangerous possible place for you to be--especially if said public place just so happens to be a mall.
28. The last one goes double, possibly even TRIPLE, for any dream involving a horde of zombies or any other type of demon or monster.
29. Much like in a cartoon or video game, the bad guys will usually tell you their evil plans if you just sit and wait patiently--but be warned, when they do, that's your cue to prepare to fight them to the death, probably right after you find out you're the chosen one and then they kill one of your friends in front of you, therefore making you finally snap and go totally berserk in an effort to avenge them.
30. Any cave, island, temple, ruin, or any other similar structure that you venture into on a quest will be cursed and/or house a monster, one that will kill everyone but you, leaving you to finish the quest on your own, or else attempt to and ultimately end up suffering a worse fate than everyone else did.
31. Dangerous people or things that want to harm you don't have to approach you in a logical fashion; if they want, they can materialize out of absolutely nowhere, usually at the worst possible time.
32. If the dream's storyline involves the end of the world, it's almost never by some logical, realistic method like a plague or meteor--no, it always has to be either aliens, typical cartoon or video game-style monsters, or an act of some sort of diety.
33. Once again, much like in video games, cartoons, movies, etc., a room full of toys or dolls is another of the worst places you can be--in dreams, toys and dolls always come to life, and are ALWAYS evil, absolutely without fail.
34. If you get lost on some kind of a quest, you'll always magically find the place where the next plot point's supposed to happen *just* as you're about to give up hope.
35. Really, this holds true for navigation in general--you'll usually know your way around, even if you've never been to a place before...that is, unless you're being followed and desperately NEED to know your way around--that's when you'll find yourself becoming hopelessly lost, with the bad guys coming right behind you and closing fast.
36. Normal physical and elemental rules don't typically apply--solids frequently turn to liquids and fires can start underwater.
37. Speaking of elemental rules, fire is especially dangerous in dreams, because once it's started, it's generally impossible to put out again for the rest of the dream.
38. Not only that, but, once started, the same fire can continue to burn in the same place indefinitely, even long AFTER it should have consumed the entire fuel supply--and then some.
39. Also, as briefly stated before, fires can start in places they'd otherwise be impossible, including underwater and in outer space.
40. Any wheeled object can drive along behaving as if it's a car--even if it has absolutely nothing that even remotely resembles an engine.
41. You randomly know things that you haven't seen, heard, read, or watched at any point in the dream, with no explanation whatsoever as to WHY you know them.
42. Even if a scenery bears absolutely NO resemblence to its real-life counterpart, you somehow manage to recognise it, anyway.
43. People's identities are never guaranteed to be stable, most of all your own--don't be shocked if you suddenly turn into your cat, your best friend, your next door neighbor, or your favorite game or cartoon character for no obvious reason whatsoever.
44. Likewise, don't be any *more* surprised when one of the aforementioned people transforms into an exact clone of yourself.
45. Even when the above incidents take place, you will always somehow still *magically* manage to retain your own original memory and personality.
46. Speaking of copies, if your dream DOES contain a copy of you--especially one that *wasn't* originally someone else you know--they will ALWAYS be an evil twin who either tries to kill you, convince you to become evil, run around generally ruining your reputation, or all of the above. Let me reiterate: In dreams, there is *NO* such thing as a good twin.
47. When you suddenly scream, wake up, and then sit up in bed and say "Thank god it was just a dream...", don't be so sure--chances are that you're actually still in the dream, whether you realise it or not, and the bad guys are going to burst into the room and come after you at any moment.
48. Much like physical and elemental rules don't apply, the usual superpower rules don't apply, either--people randomly gain and lose special abilities for no reason, particularly the ability to fly and/or otherwise defy gravity in some way, and the ability to run through walls and/or other solid objects.
49. If you get possessed in a dream, don't worry--your mind will never be repressed in any way other than the lack of ability to control your physical actions--you'll be fully aware of what you're doing and where you're going at all times, even though the thing controlling you should most likely be trying to make it otherwise.
50. If a lone person either approaches you, or you randomly run into them somewhere, watch out--they're definitely evil and just waiting for the right time to turn on you and do their worst. This is especially true if said person is really quiet, calm, nice, or polite in any way whatsoever.
51. Never get in a car, especially alone--you WILL have a wreck, one way or another.
52. If you thought cars were a no-no, doors are a much bigger one. If you're in a dream and you ever, and I do mean *ever*, find a mysterious, unmarked door, don't open it.
53. The reason for this is that the opening of said door will always either unleash a monster, spread a terrible curse, result in your being lost in an endless maze or catacomb, or something else of that nature. In other words, strange doors are an awful lot like twins--there *are* no good ones.
54. Just because it's a dream, don't count on it being painless; despite what you may have been told, dreams *can* hurt you, and when they do, it's often painful enough to jolt you awake...usually for the rest of the night.
55. No matter what you do or how hard you try to make things be otherwise, you *will* always wake up during THE single most important plot point of the dream.
56. In dreams, storylines have a tendency to automatically extend themselves--never MIND that when your favorite cartoon, book, or game ended, all the loose ends were tied up--your dream will have absolutely *no* problem finding a way to blantantly walk right around that and continue on with something that should have ended long ago.
57. When this happens, no matter what the real story is like, the plot will magically find a way to shift itself so that YOU--not the *real* main character--are the centerpoint of the story. As a result, the real hero is often largely ignored, or even cut out of the story all together.
58. Beware of portals--not only do they typically lead somewhere very bad, but in dreams, they also have a way of taking on a very vacuum-like quality that will suck you in no matter how hard you fight it, making no exception, even in the event that you're actually tethered to the floor and shouldn't even be ABLE to go anywhere.
59. However, said vacuum ability is specifically tuned to attract you, and *only* you--notice that no matter how strongly a portal pulls on you, it typically doesn't so much as stir a single speck of dust in your surroundings.
60. If you happen to ever find yourself in a lab or research facility type of setting, get out NOW--if you don't, there WILL be an explosion, escaped killer alien life-form(s), experiment-gone-wrong, or some other similar catestrophe that will inevitably kill everyone else and launch you into a VERY video-game like situation where you have to escape from the place without getting killed first.
61. Always trust your first instinct-- in a dream, whenever you second-guess yourself and change whatever course of action you were about to take to something else (especially if you changed said course of action under the assumption that the new course of action would be safer), it always leads to a much worse version of history than you originally would have been in had you NOT second-guessed yourself and changed your plans.
62. If you hear a sound but don't see anyone or anything making it, don't EVER stick around to see what's causing it--it *will* always be something dangerous.
63. Like in any video game, movie, or tv show, if the dream happens to be taking place on Halloween, face it--you're already screwed.
64. In dreams, physical injuries often mean nothing--people can get their limbs cut off, be gushing buckets of blood everywhere, or anything else, and not die when they should, if they even die at ALL.
65. Also, as far as bleeding goes, there's no limit on it--not only do bleeders not die, but they can spout blood *endlessly*, even long after they should have used up enough blood for twenty or thirty people, definitely much, much more than they should have had in their entire body to start with.
66. If a bleeder does die, they can continue to bleed profusely long afterwards. This includes the scenario that *you* die, and manage to continue bleeding in spirit form--never mind that spirits don't *have* blood.
67. Much like injury, pain often means nothing--it's not uncommon for anyone and everyone to be entirely oblivious to it. That is, for everyone ELSE, anyway; if something happens to YOU, chances are that it'll hurt like hell, nevermind that your opponent can get his entire arm hacked off and not feel a thing.
68. If you and someone else you like in any way, shape, or form get sent on a mission or quest together, chances are they'll die or turn evil before it's over.
69. You can get a person or people in your line of vision, stare at them in plain view for as long as you want, but yet still somehow manage to not actually see their faces for the entire course of the dream.
70. If a dream shows a person only from the neck down, no matter how good of a person they seem to be at first, two things are most likely to be true of them: first, they're actually evil, and second, they're most likely *not* the person that they look like from the neck down.
71. If you're ever being chased through a city by the bad guys, you can always count on a dead-end alley to be there, right in your path, at just the wrong time.
72. If there's some kind of an evil world domination plot in your dream, more often than not, you're likely an instrumental part of it in some way, shape, or form, even if you don't realise it yet.
73. Points-of-view suffer from the same lack of certainty that identities do--one moment, you can be looking through your own eyes, and the next, you'll be watching yourself through your opponent's eyes, the eyes of a passing cat, or through the eyes of a person looking out the third-story window of the house across the street.
74. However, when this happens, you're still yourself, and are still in control of your thoughts and actions--but the person or animal whose eyes you're looking through doesn't always know that; sometimes, as you watch yourself from their point of view, they'll act of their own accord, saying or doing something that you can't control, because you're not them.  
75. Just like the basic rules of objects' physical properties, elemental weakenesses, and superpowers don't apply, the basic laws of physics for movement don't always apply, either, often leaving you with the ability to get a running start, jump ten or fifteen feet up in the air, fly across a room, go into a spur-of-the-moment, head-first dive, land on one hand, flip up onto your feet, immediately launch into a series of abnormally high-flying back hand springs that takes you backwards halfway down the hall, only to land perfectly on your feet, in a perfect position to taunt your enemy, even--as well as any other number of similarly-ridiculous stunts.
76. Another important thing to know about time in a dream is that history is inconsistent: frequently, large chunks of it disappear so that anything you may have done or said at any point in the past--especially any sort of precautionary or safety measure--no longer exists and therefore no longer has any bearing on the present situation whatsoever.
77. When you wake up from a particularly bad dream, don't count on it being over--occasionally, dreams have sequels, and much like REAL sequels, dream sequels are frequently much worse than the originals.
78. In dreams, black and/or shadowy things are always evil--yet, strangely, white and/or glowy things are *not* always good. As a matter of fact, sometimes things of the latter categories turn out to be even worse than those of the former, but not *always*, and you never can tell which is which until it's too late.
79. Be careful of parallel dimensions--dreams that include your entering them are usually some of the trippiest, as said other dimensions very often *aren't* simply other worlds similar to this one, so much as they end up being crazy blurs of colors and a bunch of randomly-pasted together bits of who-knows-what other kinds of objects and sceneries.
80. Just like dreams don't have to be sensical, they don't have to *end* sensically, either. With that being said, don't be terribly surprised if one moment you're flying a plane, sneaking into a building, or running away from monsters, and the next, the scenery suddenly all explodes, turns bright shades of blue and starts playing strange music, spins and blurs into black nothingness, or anything else that's totally irrevelent, to the point of startling you into waking up instantly.
81. If a desperate someone tries to leave you an urgent and/or extremely important message, when you find it, it *will* trail off at the end and be incomplete. Also, the important part *will* be the only thing that's missing.
82. Unless you have no other choice, don't EVER duel one of the important bad guys directly. Even if all logic and common sense says you should be able to defeat them, remember: those things don't typically EXIST in a dream, so you'll inevitably be pre-destined to lose before you ever so much as lay eyes on your opponent.
83. This goes double for any type of a sword duel--losing one of those is usually particularly bad, and will nearly always result in your being run entirely through some part of your body, leaving you to die painfully while your opponent continues to toture and/or taunt you mercilessly in some way.
84. In dreams, swords have a magnetic attraction to hearts--for some reason, people rarely seem to get stabbed anywhere else--not through the shoulder, or the stomach, or the side, or any other area--always through the heart, and always directly from the front, no matter how much armor the person was wearing at the time, or how hard it should have been to actually pull off running a sword through them at that current moment, with whatever the current battle situation was.
85. Another thing to remember about swords is that once you get run through the heart with one, you'll probably be alive long enough to realise it and try to pull it out--your opponent will likely never be nice enough to go to the trouble of removing it for you--nevermind that it would make a lot more sense for them to not leave you with their weapon, in case the dream suddenly decided to shift in your favor and randomly heal you, or else make you magically not die for some reason.
86. Now a word about spells: in dreams, there is typically only ONE kind of spell, which is, of course, an evil one. So if anyone comes and tries to perform magic on you, no matter how innocent they look, watch out--you're *still* probably only moments away from falling victim to a terrible curse in some form or another.
87. If the bad guys don't kill you, they'll turn you evil; if they don't turn you evil, they'll enslave you; if they don't enslave you, they'll steal your soul; if they don't steal your soul, they'll torture you and leave you for dead; if they don't torture you and leave you for dead, they'll curse you and leave you to suffer; if they don't curse you and leave you to suffer, then there *are* no bad guys, and you're probably *not* in a dream.
88. Instant long-distance travel is also inconsistent: sometimes people need portals, and sometimes they don't. There seems to be absolutely no reason for this, but nevertheless, the idea that the bad guys can teleport all over the place at will, but yet YOU have to wait to be dragged into a portal still persists, and very strongly so.
89. Like nearly everything else, people's names and appearances are subject to random, rapid change; even if they don't completely change identites, there's still a good chance that they could alter pretty much everything else about themselves, so when you find that Darth Vader's suit has randomly been replaced by scuba gear, Voldemort is now sporting a big blue afro, or that Mario has changed his name to Stanley, don't worry--in the dream world, this is perfectly normal.
90. Even though dreams are not video games, glitches still happen. It's not unheard of for an important scene to suddenly go completely haywire and decline into a chaotic mess of transparent or half-transparent objects, flashing, seizure-inducing bright lights, and extremely-garbled sounds and voice-acting.
91. An important thing to remember about vehicles (which, in this case, means *anything* that can be driven, no matter whether it's a car, a boat, a giant tuna sandwich on wheels, or a sleigh being pulled by an oversized cardboard Pac-Man) is that they can usually be driven anywhere, including indoors, underwater, in outer space, through solid objects such as walls, doors, and furniture, and even through people--often without doing any harm or damage to anyone or anything that said vehicles come into physical contact with.
92. If a vehicle does just so happen to crash, it likely won't always happen under entirely normal circumstances--when your car flashes bright green, blue, and red because you ran into a wall, disappears right before impact leaving you sitting on the dirt, or happens to have crashed in the first place because a flying purple porcupine landed on the roof, don't say I didn't warn you.
93. If you're in a dream with a group of people, and something strange is going on, or seems slightly wrong, no one will notice but you.
94. If you try to *make* anyone else notice, they'll all insist that they don't see or hear what you do, and will *continue* to insist until it's too late to do anything to stop it.
95. The actual plot of a dream follows a strange set of rules: it *can* choose to be almost totally logical when it wants to, but often it won't. When this happens, though, somehow, said plot still manages to exist and have some set of rules of operation that hold true throughout it, but the rules don't make logical sense--after all, even if your dream *does* operate under the assumption that the end of the world can't be stopped unless you drive a giant head of lettuce through the front of a laundromat, what the hell does lettuce have to do with a laundromat, and furthermore, what does the laundromat have to do with the end of the world?
96. Compass directions are either totally relative, or otherwise don't exist at all. This means that, from where your standing, forward/up will always be north, east will always be to your right, west will always be to your left, and south will always be behind you--that is, if you're lucky enough to be in a dream in which directions exist at all.
97. However, if you are in a dream with directions, you will always be facing north, because wherever you turn will always be "forward", so even when directions exist, they always change whenever you do, meaning that even when they exist, they really actually don't exist--oh, thank god for built-in, automatic knowledge of your surroundings, for without it, you would be screwed.
98. Even if you can't actually see or hear the person who's after you well enough to tell who they are or basically anything else about them, it's ok, because you can sometimes randomly sense things like their age and gender for some mysterious reason--nevermind the fact that you usually have absolutely no evidence of any kind to support said knowledge in these situations.
99. One last thing you need to know about appearances is that the graphical style of a dream is also very inconsistent and unstable--you can jump from live-action to anime, from anime to CGI, from CGI to claymation, and then from claymation to paper cutouts within only a matter of a few moments.
100. Finally, all of the above laws can be combined, warped, twisted, and re-organized indefinitely so that you get an infinite number of equally-insane dream scenarios--but if this is the case, then that means that none of the "laws" are actually laws, right, since they can all mix together and thereby cancel each other out in some instances? That's right, because, really, you can't have "laws" to govern randomness. As a matter of fact, it could be said that the only TRUE law that exists in the dream world is Murphy's Law, and that the only way to protect yourself from said law is to just flat out not sleep. So if all of the above sounds terribly frightening to you and you're concerned for your dream-safety, there's only one thing you can do: You had better go ahead and break out the chocolate, sodas, caffeine pills, and energy drinks--it's going to be a very long night. >.>